New Heart

I was thinking this week of the many, many times I felt a tug on my heart – to pause in my haste, to divert from a path I was on, or to step out and do something – and yet I forged forward with my own thinking and purposes.  I resisted or ignored that tug. 

This poem came from remembering all those times when my need to be in control – trusting my own decision-making – led me to a place of wanting more than I could ever receive from the path I was on:

“New Heart”

With hardened heart I resisted
Your words of truth that I twisted,
to fit the story I was writing,
Your path and plan I kept on fighting;
For I believed I knew what’s right,
I had the victory in sight,
with blinders on I just charged forth,
I did not want any support.

…but things just didn’t feel right…

As I charged on something was missing,
a sense of want was persisting,
for though I had all things in hand,
there was a void in my own plan;
As I pondered what it could be,
I felt Your Spirit calling me,
reminding me You were right there,
in my rebellion You still cared.

…You filled the void for me…

Because of grace my life was changed,
my priorities were rearranged,
You took all of my stubbornness,
replaced it with Your righteousness;
I feel Your Spirit within me,
transforming me so tenderly,
All that I seek is found in You,
It’s through Your love my heart is new.

***

I’m learning to pause with the tug now, to seek the guidance that is being offered, to be grateful for whatever is learned in those moments, and to cherish the relationship with the Lord that was missing.

And I’ve grown to understand that the right kind of confidence and conviction follow the pause…for the pause allows alignment with God’s will.

How cool it would be if I were perfect at this.

Still learning…still growing…still being made new!

Stan